Wednesday, April 28, 2010

5 Reasons Why the Rebellion Screwed the Galaxy!!

As movie fans we have it built into our brains that we need to root for the good guys at all costs. That’s great – I don’t really mind that at all – but sometimes you have to wonder – “Am I really rooting for the right side?”

To have some fun with this idea – I decided to take one of the most classic “no brainer – root for the good guys” films and see if I can find 5 reasons why the Rebellion fucked the Galaxy!

5. The Empire didn't just step up and say "the galaxy is ours now" - they had supporters somewhere - or they'd constantly have to be putting down various uprisings - not just the Rebellion. So, the Rebels just made a whole shit load of planets raise militias in support of what they feel is the "true government". Sounds like the galaxy just got a lot more hostile.

4. The Rebellion is extremely underfunded. Look at the ships in Episodes 1-3 – those are some fine pieces of spacecraftery. Then look at the ships the Rebellion threw at the Empire in the next three chapters – in comparison they look like they are held together with spit and gum! Can we expect the Rebellion to REALLY be able to run a Galaxy if they can’t afford old nicer technology? Best example is the clunky B-Wing or the Y-Wing fighters.

3. The Empire did NOT accept failure from the people put in their leadership positions. Vader executed several commanders for failing to capture the good guys even though Vader knows the "Force is with them". The Alliance's leadership was dumb enough to keep the same overthrown by the Imperials power structure in place into the Rebellion - even though they were duped from the inside. Sounds like they are ripe to be taken down again.

2. The Empire had clones for their army and police force (the Stormtroopers) - so now what the Alliance will have to have a draft and send real people to their deaths? Sounds like a bad idea to me and another great way for everyone to rebel against the Rebellion.

1. These people - the Alliance - the Rebels - are the reminants of the government that put Jar Jar Binks in charge of something! Didn't they make him a Senator or something? He didn’t do anything – but he was promoted to doing something of actual importance within the government! So, does that mean Wicket the Ewok will get a spot on the Jedi council? Is he automatically promoted to making decisions for the galaxy just because he was there? Does that mean we were rooting for the wrong side all along? Ack!!!

No comments:

Post a Comment