Hardware [1990]

In a post-apocalyptic wasteland – a scavenger brings a busted up android head to his girlfriend for use in her art – but it turns out the head isn’t dead – and that’s no maintenance bot!


The film started off with some potential – though it was quite dated. You know the kind of film – where the apocalypse happened in the 1980’s – and style hasn’t matured since or you know... changed due to atmospheric necessity. Yet, if it was just fashion – then we’d be fine – but the issues with the film went far deeper.


Conversation mostly revolved around filling in backstory of the reality of their world – which ruined quite a bit of the believability of the film. I think in the future with the sky red and world turned to shit – everyone would probably be used to it and casual conversation would continue like normal. Even after the most dramatic scene – instead of everyone looking around and being thankful and hugging – they began a heated argument about how evil the government is by creating that robot! Whoa! Hold the social commentary until the end of the film lady!


I did not care for the many false endings – the appearing and disappearing characters – the characters at large were uninteresting at best. The robot was interesting – but there seemed to be a few plot holes that I wish were addressed. Like if the robot was capable of recharging itself from almost any power source (like the sun – a example given in the film) and is capable of rebuilding itself – how come it didn’t do so while in the desert surrounded by its dismembered body parts? I hear it’s quite sunny in the desert at times. Or if you’re saying the red sky prevents the sun from coming in – then why make a robot that can be solar charged?


Toward the middle and end of the film – it just got tedious. Why was the robot taking its sweet ass time? It’s trapped in a small apartment with only one victim to kill – why just hang out? Her back is turned! Go get her! Why did the robot feel it needed to mutilate that one body? Robots aren’t sadistic – they are programmed to build cars, wash dishes, kill all humans or be sex toys. Why did the film try to get all surreal toward the end? It seemed like a straight forward robot killing machine film – why mess with that? It doesn’t fit – and felt tacked on in order to fill space and to fill in gaps in backstory.


I hated the voyeur pervert neighbor – and his stupid face – and his stupid song. Hate.


I did like the cameos from Iggy Pop as Angry Bob – Lemmy as the taxi driver – and them pimping their own music from The Stooges and Motorhead – as the characters. I liked the odd environments (felt like cheap Blade Runner sets) – and the drawn out sex scene – as well as the robot’s drill penis.


Overall – the film had too many things wrong with it in the direction department – otherwise the flaws I listed up above probably wouldn’t be that big of a problem to me. Hell, I like much worse films! NO! I LOVE much worse films! But the difference is – there’s energy to those films – they don’t pretend to be anything but they are not. They don’t go from straight action nonsense to – oh you’re tripping balls for a few minutes so we can fit in some plot points – back to watch out for the robot penis!


I’m giving it a 2 out of 5 – because it wasn’t redeemable enough.


directed by Richard Stanley