Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Thoughts on The Artist

I do not want to see THE ARTIST – to me it reeks of nostalgia grasping and clown-hammer forced emotions. It’s sad because people who would never watch an actual silent film will watch this for the novelty of it all – like it’s the hip trendy thing to do. I don’t care if it becomes a gateway to people rediscovering films of the silent age – to me it looks like Forest Gump – “this is how you should feel – feel it” kind of film.

I’m not saying I will never see it – or one day love it – or even purchase the ultra-deluxe 6 disc blu-ray version with life-size cut outs and autographed collector dildos. I’m saying – right now – at this moment in time – I find the idea of it being forced down our collective throats offensive.

The main thing that drive me away from the film is that usually the first descriptor of the film is it’s a ‘silent film’ – which is fine – that indeed describes the film – but what if it was a talkie? What’s the freaking plot? It makes me nauseous that people don’t describe the film like any other film – and then say – “by the way it’s a silent film” – it just solidifies that the only reason why people are masturbating so heavily to it is that it’s a novelty. Just like 3D. Since we’re going backwards next we’ll get a kaleidoscope – and we can all pay $7 for a spin of watching a horse gallop and people will chop off their own heads over that.

Or I hear ‘it’s a celebrating of cinema’ – which is wonderful – more fake nostalgia for an era we are too young to have known. Just like Forest Gump. We are thoughtlessly in love with the previous era without appreciating how much we should enjoy our own – I find it ironic that Midnight In Paris came out the same year as The Artist.

Like I said – I’m not saying I won’t watch it or love it – I’m saying I don’t want to – I will give it a few years to age and if I feel like watching it then - I will. I pray it doesn’t win the Best Picture Oscar – I think it would be a major mistake looking back – because it seems to me everyone is in love with the idea of it more than the film – and I fear we’ll have another debate in X years whether Shawshank Redemption or Pulp Fiction was more robbed.

Now, get off my bridge before I grind your bones and put them in my stew!


  1. I've seen "the Artist," saw it because I'm a fan of silent films, so I figured it would be worth a look. Unfortunately, as you point out, the plot is entirely secondary to its gimmick. It's actually less like "Forrest Gump" though, and more a silent, black and white remake of "Napoleon Dynamite." None of the characters have any redeeming features. Watching it, I had no idea why Peppy constantly saves George, despite George's utter indifference to her.

    1. I like movies based on the substance - a creative delivery helps - but it can't overwhelm the substance to become the selling point - like 3D - substance needs to come first