Top Vacation Hot Spots to Avoid

With the vacation and travel season just around the corner - I thought it'd be wise to point out some of the best vacation hot spots TO AVOID! This is a tricky list to consider because you are tempted to put down the worst places in movies - such as Hell - but unfortunately Hell isn't really a place anyone would like to visit (unless you are really into death-metal). So, I'm sticking with places that are considered - in their respective movies - places someone would want to visit on a vacation.

Honorary mention - Jurassic Park [1993, Jurassic Park] – The theme park doesn’t rank on the list simply because it never opened to the public.

Main draw – dinosaurs.

Main drawback – you’ll probably be eaten by them dinosaurs.

5. Overlook Hotel [1980, The Shining]

Main draw – beautiful hotel in secluded mountains of Colorado.

Main drawback – it’s haunted.

4. Delaware [1992, Wayne’s World]

Main draw – there’s a screen door factory.

Main drawback – there’s a screen door factory.

3. Delos Corporation Theme Parks [1973, Westworld / 1976, Futureworld]

Main draw – you get to act out your fantasies with realistic cyborgs.

Main drawback – the cyborgs will probably come to life and kill you.

2. Nilbog [1990, Troll 2]

Main draw – the country life – you get to live like your ancestors.

Main drawbacks – no grocery stores & you’ll probably be turned into a plant of some sorts and eaten by goblins.

1. Camp Crystal Lake [1980, Friday the 13th]

Main draws – gorgeous camping.

Main drawbacks – over the years hundreds of people have visited – most of them have been killed. So, there's a good chance you'll be murdered by the masked killer.

Did I miss a not so happening hot spot that you should avoid? Let me know!

She Killed In Ecstasy [1970]

Upon my second viewing of She Killed in Ecstasy – I realized that my initial problems with the film aren’t as big of an issue – and the real enjoyment of the wild side of this film really comes out.


Dr. Johnson’s experiments to help the human race by genetically splicing fetuses with animal genes isn’t going well with the Doctor’s council and he’s banned and branded a criminal. Dr. Johnson goes into a deep psychological despair – and dies. Mrs. Johnson (played by Soledad Miranda) decides to take revenge on the council and seduce and kill each member.


What strikes me this viewing is how telling the opening monologue is as a reflection of Soledad’s life. I couldn’t help but think when she said ‘our time together was short’ and the conclusion – that it’s one of those eerie things an actor or actress says or does in their final performance just before their own death.


I thought Soledad’s performance was fantastic and intense – and so incredibly sexy. If she survived to do more films after this – I wouldn’t have been surprised if she got pulled away from Franco to do more mainstream productions based on the strength of this performance.



Franco is on his game with direction – keeping it equally psychedelic and playful. I always enjoy his single shots – his lack of fear of the zoom or the use of focus (or lack there of). It’s one of those great things that you are told you are not to do – but because Franco does it – he owns it as part of his style.


I still find the same flaws in the story – about how the doctors discover the note beside Mrs. Johnson’s first victim – and they don’t report it to the police – or even take heed and not be seduced by any strange woman. Without skipping a beat – Franco takes us from the scene where he’s explaining his theory (he plays a doctor on the council) – we see Soledad seducing the female doctor who was just listening to warning. I'm also not as impressed with the usage of the dynamite soundtrack - the theme just seems out of place with the strong horns during some of the scenes that feel like they need just a hint of music instead of the full blunt force.


You've also take into account this is legendary Jesus Franco who at this point had already made this exact film a couple times previously - but in She Killed in Ecstasy he's tweaking it a little. Unfortunately, he's lacking a serious budget in this version - and there's several elements that suffer - most notably Mrs. Johnson's final act. Given the history of Soledad though - I think a bumpy car ride instead of a massive crash is like good old Uncle Jess patting us on the head and telling us "she didn't suffer". (Yeah, I'm being pathetically poetic here - but whatever)


The pacing can feel off if you are not familiar with Franco’s style – he likes to have a lot more of the mental conflict be actually internal as opposed to being vocalized even if no one is there. Lingering shots of Dr. Johnson “suffering” and of Mrs. Johnson longing – can feel a bit out of place – but aren’t really.



I’m still going to give the film a 4 out of 5 though I enjoyed it more this time around – but not enough to call it “perfect” and give it the last bump. It’s certainly essential to my movie collection – and the Image “remastered” release is vibrant and beautiful upconverted on my Blu-Ray player – some of the close-ups – you feel like you could pause it and count the pores on Soledad’s face.

Rant: Troll 2

I needed this past week to recharge my creative juices – and for all of those who like to frequent this: the most popular movie blog on the internet – I appreciate you allowing me the time.

There was one other major reason why I needed to take a week off – and that reason was – Troll 2.

Please understand – this is difficult for me to write – as this film really hurt me. It’s like no other film I had ever seen before. Think that I’m exaggerating all you want – that’s fine – but it certainly feels real.

Normally, when people talk about bad movies they talk about box office failures, films that have overly ambitious people working with small budgets or just movies that make very little sense. Troll 2 was all these things – and quite a bit more. It left me thinking; “Was anybody really trying? And if they were – how scary is that?”

The vulgarity that this film was made in the first place makes it one of the most terrifying films ever – and I’m not speaking of the film – I’m just speaking about the fact that it was made at all.

Sure, Plan 9 From Outer Space was “bad” – but Ed Wood Jr. was really trying. He had ambition – and some studio resources – and he put his all into the film – and over all it was entertaining – so how “bad” could it be? Manos: The Hands of Fate was made with ambition but no budget by a fertilizer salesman in Texas – so there’s an excuse as to why the film was so bad. Troll 2 felt like a combination of the two – but without the ambition – or at least I think.

If there was ambition behind it – how do you explain what the secret weapon was? I have not been the same person since I found out what the secret weapon was. I’m pretty sure that once it was revealed – my soul split in two. Half was laughing – and half was so violent and destructive that it may have caused someone somewhere harm. My body is a shell of what it once was – and I’m speechless.

I worried ever since I saw Troll 2 that I was not going to be able to conjure up the will the not only write about movies – but to watch another movie. I’ve seen Monster A Go-Go, Manos, Red Zone Cuba, Transformers, Battlefield Earth, Freddy Got Fingered, Night at the Roxbury, Waterworld and countless other horrid films but not one of them has ever made me not want to watch a movie to wash-out my mind of the residue of it’s badness.

Troll 2 really hurt – and I don’t even want to go into why it was such a bad movie and “review” it – because so much of it is sitting there in the front of my mind hurting me. It’s simultaneously better and worse than it’s predecessor – which has flaws that are understandable and quantifiable – and a perfect example of a film that had better ideas than execution.

Don’t get me wrong – I thought the entire thing was funny as hell with how bad it was – the overacting – the plot – the special effects – the corn porn – the costumes– and the dialogue was something to behold! I think that’s what made it hurt even more! It’s like you are laughing while someone is torturing you.

I’m not going to rate it – I’m just writing this to reverse the curse and hopefully my old witty movie loving self will come back. But if I never return to being as entertaining as I once was (assuming I ever was) – it’s because I found the movie that broke me.

Beware.

Not Feeling Special

I like collecting movies. I love going out to the video store’s holiday sales and pick up several for cheap (since I worked at the big chain – I know that’s when they have the good sales). Lately, I’ve been big on preordering via Amazon – I get it the day it comes out and usually at the market price.

I’ve always been weary when a new film comes out that looks as though will have an “extended edition” that will come out later – or a film is released with just bare bones and no special features.

So, when I heard that Avatar is coming out with just a bare bones edition – I thought – “no dice I’ll wait”. To me it’s a good enough film to have around for when I need some popcorn entertainment – and a special edition is coming later in the year – which includes all the wonderful bonus features and 40 minutes of additional movie put back in. THEN after that there will be a 3D version coming in 2011.

Then I really started thinking about it.

How often do I partake in the special features? I’ve got some disc 2’s that have never left the case – but I insisted on having them.

Did I enjoy the film that much that I may want to watch the extended edition with the added 40-minutes? It’s a long enough movie as it is!

Home 3D? I only tried it once – and it gave me a headache. PLUS, my TV is NOT big enough to REALLY enjoy all that was offered in the theater – which was an awesome experience.

Maybe I should just go with the regular edition and be happy with that? Or is this how they get you to spend more money?

Soledad Miranda

Why did you want to borrow those coasters, Soledad?

The Expendables [2010]

This little exercise has taught me that I'm not that "excited" about a lot of films coming out this summer - so I guess I need to repost this trailer.

The Expendables from Bad Tomato on Vimeo.

Predators [2010]

Predators Teaser Trailer from Damiel Luis on Vimeo.