Monday Muzak: Southern Decline

X-Men: First Class [2011]

The story of how the X-Men got started.

I didn’t expect to like this one too much – but the 60’s short dresses – lingerie and plenty of attractive women showing their curves – sold me that this is the GREATEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME!! There were some guys in it and they did stuff too – but did you see all the cleavage? Wow! Lots of hot leg action too! January Jones is already a porn name – but that’s her REAL name – she played the lady who dressed in shiny white leather – boobs! James Fassbender and Michael McAvoy are in this movie somewhere – and I’m sure they did a fine job doing the things they do – but Jennifer Lawrence as the blue naked chick – yes please! I watched it and thought maybe I should watch it again in slow-mo! There’s even some Nazi killing too – which is all fuck yeah – did you see the caboose on that chick! They should make movies with just chick being almost naked – or even a little naked – that would be awesome! I’m going to start a film studio that specializes in that!

The Rite [2011]

A faith questioning priest is sent to learn the ways of exorcism in Rome.

Based on another true story of exorcism... Okay, really? I’m starting to believe that the Catholic Church is really in the movie business. I want to make a dark dark comedy where this is true – and they decide to keep doing this shit with all these fucking exorcism movies that come out “based on true stories”. I mean – I guess we can say “it’s true it’s based on a story” – because all these films are starting to feel like propaganda. I appreciate that the faith questioning priest was thinking mental disorders – but of course Hannibal Lector was there to help encourage him that it’s real. I’m not taking a piss on the religion of it all – just the movies – and since all these exorcisms are done in secret without records of it – there’s no way to officially debunk everything. The movie was okay – nothing great – just enough to make me not turn it off.

Monday Muzak

Monday Muzak: No Distance Left To Run

SKYRIM Friday - live blogging event

7:01 AM: Good morning everyone - I've been up since about 4 - it's been a rough week - when I woke up - I was up - no hope of getting back to sleep with all the brain worms. Since it has been a rough week - I was really debating if I still wanted to do this entry. Hell, despite being excited for SKYRIM for the past couple months - I debated not even playing the game... (real world drama portion erased)... Well, the package from Amazon is Out for Delivery - I'm thinking of doing some cleaning and maybe seeing if I can get an hour worth of napping done. 7:08 AM

7:09 AM: Oh yeah, just finished watching JEWEL OF THE NILE - what a dumb movie - harmless but dumb 7:10 AM

8:20 AM: The bathroom is clean and stinks of pine - and I'm checking around on Amazon for the first fake "reviews" - I like to poke the trolls when there's obviously a really stupid review such as describing the game as "WoW for xbox" (World of Warcraft)... So, let me play dumb for you and show what my comment read...

Wait? I don't get it... It's Wow for the Xbox - but it's bad? Wow is something that I EXCLAIM when I find something amazing... Like "Wow! These are some good McNuggets!"... So, is this like when bad means good? Like "you are so 'bad' at writing reviews"?

I'm really hoping that it is "Wow for the xbox" like your review suggests - because I want to constantly say "wow" - I might even say "wow" to the UPS person who comes by to drop off the game!

At least tell me that they kept Hogwarts in this game - and the kill streaks... I'm really looking forward to multi-playering up some noobs to play some serious gaming.

Aren't I a stinker? 8:23AM

11:46AM: I'm really tired now - been up since 4 - so it's not really a surprise is it? I keep reminding myself to go back and look at my shipping history on Amazon and see if UPS usually drops off the game at certain times and maybe then if it's far enough away take a quick nap... I watched last night's Conan, and both episodes of Beavis & Butthead off the DVR... Had second breakfast - and thinking about lunch now... I bought a shit load of food last night after work ready to spend the day holed up in my apartment eating and snacking - it was a solid call on my part - but probably should've bought more caffeine - other than coffee... Oh well... 11:49AM

11:57AM - Got it!! Might take a nap before I play it though... 11:57AM

12:05PM - Who am I kidding? After 5 minutes in bed - I can't sleep yet - I'll try food - maybe make more coffee - then game or nap... 12:06PM

1:18PM - The controls are going to take some getting used to - I picked a Dark Elf character called him Etain Mitra (that is two Neil Marshall references) - and have just seemed to finish up the first part... Almost let my Hungry Man dinner/lunch get cold playing through it... Fun stuff - nice visuals! 1:19PM

3:42PM - Been playing pretty much non-stop - fun stuff - leveling up on certain paths with ease - cleared a dungeon already (it was the one in the big half hour preview - it had a few more and a few less surprises than the preview) - completed two "achievements" - killed an elk - the leveling up and skill points save until you remember to check so spent my skill points without guidance from guide book which oddly is shipping out to arrive on Monday - been munching on Chex mix - still tired - still a little taken aback from this week - but this game will help lose myself - I'm putting it down for a little while going to watch a movie or tv or something - I will probably keep this live blogging going this weekend because it's a bit of therapy for me... The item/spells/map menu screen is a bit of a bummer - not caring for it at the moment 3:48PM

Centurion [2010]

A Roman legion is ambushed by the Picts (a Scottish tribe) and the few survivors must try to make it back safety before they are hunted and killed.

Neil Marshall’s play on the legend (mostly myth) of the Roman 9th legion in Britain – an unstoppable group who went “missing” while guarding their post. What I really liked about the movie is that you are given two sides – both give the viewer equal justification to root for. The Picts are defending their land against invaders – as well as Etain who has her own brutal reasons for wanting to hunt down the Roman scum. Then you have a somewhat likable group of Roman soldiers headed by Quintus Dias (Michael Fassbender – who plays the title Centurion) – who you realize are pretty much left up to their own – with no cavalry coming to save them simply looking to get back home.

Marshall gives us his traditional theme of having strong women characters who don’t need men to save their asses – and they don’t need to show their asses. His films are violent and gory – and very masculine in that sense – but you throw in the strong female badasses in his films they are very feminist. That duality is one of my favorite things about Marshall’s films – the female characters don’t cower until they are “saved” – they stand up for themselves the entire time.

I think the cast did their part quite well - Fassbender brought a weight an sympathetic side to Quintus which worked very well and Olga Kurylenko was awesome as the silent assassin Etain. – and though the plot was thin – it was good enough for a fun survival-chase “genre” film. It’s a “you get what you pay for” Neil Marshall film – with plenty of gore and in camera effects – instead of the computer generated nonsense.

I wasn’t as enthusiastic about Marshall’s direction of Centurion as a whole – I felt he had a real energy and eye in his previous works – I’m not sure what really happened in this one. He still managed some beautiful shots – and some great compositions – but it felt a bit more vanilla.

Out of the 4 feature films Neil Marshall has done – it has no place to go but 4th on the list due to the strength of his previous work and obvious weaknesses in Centurion. Being a dork I just realized that this is his first film that didn’t start with D – The Descent, Doomsday & Dog Soldiers – and he was attached to Drive for a long while before Winding Refn took over the project (that would have made a VERY different film – but equally as awesome in a different way).

I liked the movie – but I can easily see how others would think it is derivative and just a boring hack and slash film. It is just a lot of bloody fun.

Captain America: The First Avenger [2011]

The USA designs a super soldier in order to combat the Nazi’s and their very own super soldier project.

I thought this movie was a lot of fun. Really I did. I kind of didn’t expect that – I figured it would be kind of a paint by numbers affair – but it was good. There was some good heart – some good action – Chris Evans worked well as Steve Rogers/Capt America. The majority of the film took place back in WWII – like 99.8% – I was somewhat worried about it becoming a time travel movie. The Red Skull effects were all right – nothing special – not like the skinny Chris Evans effects – those were top notch! I really liked Agent Carter – Hayley Atwell – she was a looker! I would’ve asked her to dance even though I am built like the skinny Chris Evans!

I didn’t like that there seemed to be way too many forced references to the other two franchises of Thor and Iron Man – I felt like this should have been Captain America’s story – we can leave the other characters out of it for a while. I actually thought the Thor shit was REALLY annoying – I didn’t get the reference – and I didn’t like the weight it carried – it became a case of you should have known“well of course if you do that – then this will happen” – which lead to a VERY ANTI-CLIMATIC ending. I guess I didn’t take enough notes when I was watching Thor and should’ve realized that I needed them to follow this movie.

Overall – it was fun – I just wish they had a better ending action sequence that didn’t hinge on shit.

Video Game Challenge - Final Weekend

Only 2-days before the “dragon born” sets out on his quest.

This was the last weekend for my video game challenge – and considering I did not play any video games this weekend – my mission will end incomplete.

Let’s recap – I set out to beat Fallout: New Vegas, Crysis 2 and The Saboteur – only 3 games. I beat Fallout: New Vegas (twice with the freeze glitch) – it was easily the longest of the 3 games. The Saboteur was left mostly untouched. I started on Crysis 2 and even at the easiest play settings – I really sucked at it – so I gave it up and replaced it with Batman Arkham Asylum and Mass Effect 2.

I beat Batman Arkham Asylum – which was a lot of fun – a lot of button mashing – but a lot of fun. I looked to dust off my Mass Effect 2 skills – but quickly got bored with the game once more – and didn’t play it again.

So, I beat 2 games – left 3 unbeaten – but was only looking to beat 4 in total. I can’t say that I’m sad though – 2 games is a lot better than I normally do in 2 months – dedicating only a few hours in the weekend mornings to games. In 2011 – I beat LA Noire, Bulletstorm, Fallout: New Vegas, Batman Arkham Asylum – as well as got 100% completion of Lego Star Wars 3 – I did good.

Instead of playing games this weekend I watched movies mostly – and used my Groupon to a local used book store on the out of print Criterion version of The Third Man as well as finally getting a copy of Hunter S. Thompson’s The Rum Diary. They also had a video game I would’ve normally purchased – but I put it back – because I know there are only a few days before all games are put aside and SKYRIM is all that’s in my XBOX.

Not enough SKYRIM talk for you? Well, come back on Friday – I’m taking the day off and plan on spending all day on Blogger updating the Friday entry with what I’m doing. I’m hoping it’s not just me sitting around blogging about how I’m waiting on UPS all day – taking a big chance on that. The thought has crossed my mind to run out and buy a copy then return the UPS copy the next day – but that seems extreme.

Monday Muzak: Bomb.Repeat.Bomb

Starship Troopers [1997] Blu-Ray

I finished reading Joe Haldeman’s THE FOREVER WAR (great read) and it put me in the mood to watch STARSHIP TROOPERS – as I remember it being similar (if only because it involved war against aliens on other planets and sex).

I guess it had been long enough since I saw it that I didn’t remember the cheekiness of it all – the little commercials and how everyone was “perfect”. I think I honestly just remember it being a war, bug, boobie flick. Starship Troopers is a sci-fi war satire – it’s fun – but I’m not sure if it holds up enough for me.

I mean – how can you not be all over that chick, Dizzy (played by Dina Meyer), if she constantly fawns over you and Denise Richards (your "girlfriend") is constantly flirting with other guys? Is it the boobs? I guess he’s just out of high school or college – or whatever – and he hasn’t learned there’s more to life than great boobs... Aw... I think I just broke my own heart with that comment... With her dying breath – she thanked God that she was finally able to have sex with you for 20 minutes? I mean – c’mon!!!!! That out does boobs any day!

One thing I never ran into before was that my Blu-Ray player refused the disc – even though it looked perfect. It was an older release so I didn’t expect that I needed to update my firmware – as even with brand new releases I’ve never had to. So, I returned it to N’flix as defective and asked for a new one – and the new disc gave me the same grief.

A quickie Google search and I discovered that I needed to “add” more memory to my Blu-Ray player to get the disc to play! I’ve never heard of that!

I grabbed the podunk SD camera card that came with my camera (which I never unwrapped as I purchased a better card at the same time) – I slid that into my Blu-Ray player and the movie loaded up fine. That’s just weird to me.

The movie looked AMAZING! It’s a fantastic looking movie on Blu – if you love the movie – you will want to upgrade (or wait until the XXth anniversary release that is sure to come out). If you like the movie and want to watch it – rent it on Blu – it looks great.

Sucker Punch [2011]

An orphan girl [sad song] is sentenced to a lobotomy so that a crooked man [sad song] can steal her inheritance [sad song] and she imagines that she’s fighting back [techno song].

I swear I watched a solid half hour of this film – then the fast forward button was used liberally. I counted those music queues and there were 3 within the first 17 minutes of the movie – this started to make me really angry – because I felt I was watching a series of crappy sad sack music videos.

OPEN YOUR POUTY ASS MOUTH AND TELL THE FUCKING POLICE WHAT THIS GUY WAS DOING AND FUCKING STOP STANDING AROUND LOOKING FUCKING SAD!!!

Sure, there were some nice visually nifty action sequences that I forwarded through – but it became an obvious style over substance issue for me. I’m glad I didn’t waste my time watching the full movie – because to get to THAT ending would have pissed me off.

Video Game Challenge - Progress of weekend Oct 29 & 30

Other than playing a couple hours of Lego Pirates – I didn’t do much gaming this weekend. I have been a little concerned about burning myself out prior to SKYRIM’s release on 11/11/11.

I kind of wish there was more information floating around out there about the game. I’ve been curious as to the different “races” in the game. I will usually play a human character in whatever game I get a “race” choice – but I’m thinking wood elf sounds like the kind of character I want to play in SKYRIM – but I’m not sure – as there doesn’t appear to be THAT much info on the game out there right now.

People talk about Oblivion too much when in regards to SKYRIM – which makes me kick myself for not playing Oblivion first. I think the last sword and sorcery game that I played was Might & Magic: The Clouds of Xeen – I loved that game. You got a group of 5 characters – different classes and races – and you go adventuring. Then Might & Magic turned into a conquest strategy game – and I moved on with my game playing – playing mostly baseball games and Sims games – with casual Mario games mixed in.

That is until I watched my brother play Fallout 3 – then I decided I must own an XBOX 360 – and play THAT GAME!!! That story is amusing to me because when the Wii came out I told my brother I wanted to get an XBOX – and he was so into his Wii that he shot down that idea – brought up all these negative aspects of it (which I agreed with) – and took the wind out of my sails. I went to Australia on business – received a big payday out of all that travel time – and bought a Wii (based on my brother’s glowing reviews and the high fail rate on the XBOX). The Wii was fun – but when I told my brother about my purchase – he told me how much fun he was having with his XBOX – the system he kept convincing me NOT to get.

Well, my thumbs have still been sore due to all my button mashing games – and texting – so I think a weekend of no real gaming was important. Gotta recharge them thumbs. Of course this means in the 11 days that I’ve got left – I will probably fail my challenge – with only 2 games completed out of the 4.

The Saboteur came up a couple random places this weekend while I was goofing off on the intertubes – and my interest was elevated a bit into playing it again – but never got around to it.

Amazon and Target are having buy 2 get one free sales on really good selections of games – but I’ll hold strong in the belief that I will not get to enjoy them once SKYRIM comes out (plus as much as I want to spend it – I ain’t got the scratch). Still the temptation... The trials... 10 days!