Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Like A Hitman, Like A Dancer

I don’t understand why there’s always some “corporate” guy who decides that pissing off or deceiving a trained killer is a good idea – thus creating films of this genre. It’s not like these “corporate” guys haven’t been hiring these trained killers and witnessing their results every single day. They should really know better.

I can understand bad guys accidentally backing into a hit man. I mean you can’t call “time out” and do background checks on everyone in a gun fight or car chase. Bad guys are hereby forgiven for their stupidity in taunting a hit man into coming after them with everything they got – though if it’s a profitable organization – and you catch your mistake early enough and can afford to pay them off or return to them the incidental kidnap victim – it would be advisable.

What chafes my suspension of disbelief are the hit man’s employers. May I ask; what’s wrong with a simple pink slip? It’s not like you haven’t been paying the hit man a stack of cash for every job through the years. I wouldn’t think that the hit man would get all pissed off unless they are broke ass shit – but none of them are – they got to keep up with their lifestyles and remain respectable; no one hires a drunk, homeless hit man (or at least no one who can afford not to).
Show up at his place with a brief case full of cash and a delicious cake – thank them for their services – apologize that they are no longer needed – and walk away. What motive will the hit man have for revenge if you do this? None! But if you send in a group of tough guys to shoot his family/friends/dog/goldfish and piss the hit man off to the point where he’s scaling down a building with a bazooka strapped to his back and a machete between his teeth.

So, you let the hit man down gently – and they go away peacefully – and suddenly they are somehow entangled as an obstacle in another plot you’ve got going on. STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING AND THINK! This hit man was good back in the day – they should be considered just as good today! You allowed them to have a shit load of time off to do whatever they want – unless they are suddenly pushing 3-spins with pizza grease on their shirt - let’s NOT assume that they decided to let themselves go and they are not a threat. Let’s just assume that with all that time off they dedicated themselves to doing what they know how to do and they spent their time continuing their training without missions interrupting them.

If the situation arises where the hit man is hired by another group to come after you – that’s just business – you can’t do much about that other than defend yourself and possibly have leverage to spare a few of your group because there’s no spite in the hit man’s act of destroying you. Maybe you’ll even luck out and they won’t take the mission because you retired him respectfully.
For God’s sake – if the hit man goes missing for a really long period of time – you manage to locate them – and they are not doing any harm to anybody; Let them be!! If they ripped you off of the cash from the last job – consider it their pension. If your operation was that desperate that it really needs that cash back – then reconsider your priorities – there is a lot more profitable ways to get your cash back than to go after a hit man. If it’s about respect – show the hit man some respect – you can’t expect to earn respect by showing disrespect.

If you really need to set-up someone in your organization – anybody is better than the hit man or the hit man’s handler (his bff). If it has to be the hit man’s handler – make it look like an accident – or natural causes. If it absolutely has to be the hit man you set-up – then maybe you should consider quitting or admitting your mistake – because there’s really no future in that – or for you for that matter.

If none of this makes sense – and you decide to go against my advice – that is your choice. So, since I won't be seeing you again - could I get that $20 bucks you owe me?

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