Friday, May 29, 2009

Zombie Strippers [2008]

Well, what can one say about the film Zombie Strippers? By the title – you expect two things – and the question you should ask yourself – does this movie deliver on its promises? Well, you can rest assured – there are both zombies and strippers in this film (I know! I was worried too). The question then becomes how did they do at delivering on their promises?

In the not too distant future – George W. Bush is on his 4th term as President of the United States – having created new wars all over the planet from France to Canada to declaring war on Alaska. The government is running out of soldiers to send into battle – so they decide to start using the dead – who are less likely to retreat and question authority. Well, wouldn’t you know it the lab that creates the undead soldiers – is overrun! (I know! I didn’t see that coming either!)

A troop of ‘super’ soldiers are brought in to stop the “zombies”… I know they are trying to have some fun with this film – and it’s not meant to be a serious flick – but spitting in the face of the zombie movie code and calling them zombies over and over is actually kind of gut wrenching. They could’ve scored a free point with me (and the nerds who’d rent this film) – by just calling them undead or creatures – or something silly.

Anyway, the super soldiers – who have the guy who loves knives – the girl with the big knockers – and the new guy – as well as several other super soldier types. They take care of the problem – with little help from the scientists provided weapon (ooh plot twist!). The new guy soldier is bitten and runs away into a secret underground strip club (which was outlawed by W.) – and attacks the main attraction dancer – played by Jenna Jameson.

When she’s reanimated – Jenna has super stripper powers! (I know! It’s freakin’ amazing!) The men go crazy for her (like they weren’t already) – and all the girls become jealous of her super stripper powers – and decide becoming zombies isn’t such a bad gig. The only problem becomes – the girls have to feed – and they decide to feed on a “lucky” guy from the audience after each dance – creating more zombies that the club owner has to hide.

So, the movie then becomes about conformity – and since pretty much all the girls are porn-star types the film also goofs on trends in the porn industry. The club owner refuses to use the girls who decided to remain alive – because they aren’t pulling in the same money - but in the long run the ultimate winners are the ones who didn’t go for the trend.

The acting is soft-core porn quality – not that you should be surprised by that. They try to use the acting as an advantage – kind of like an inside joke – but it doesn’t work too well as a joke. How porn stars can act like they love sex all the time – but not act like a normal person is beyond me. Plus, porn acting only really works in porn because you’re not there for the acting – you are watching it for what comes after the “acting”. So I felt if a little more effort would’ve added to my enjoyment. The effects were amateurish – obvious D-grade computer effects (or should I say Z-grade? Ha!) – which I also feel like they tried to use as a bit of an inside joke – to mixed success.

My beef with this film is that it’s about 2 things – zombies and strippers – and I can find zombie films anywhere – so I want more strippers! Correction – I want more stripping by the strippers! Sure there are some routines – but not every stripper gets her time on stage – and that’s kind of the point of the film isn’t it? To boil it down – the film just isn’t sleazy enough! It’d be far better if they pushed that boundary – and left out a few of the sub-plots. (I know! I was surprised there were sub-plots too!)

The way I see a film like this – is you’re going to rent it because you want to see both zombies and strippers – so you might as well do both to the extreme. You line up your porn stars – so the stripping part should be easy to do – and zombies should be pretty easy to pull off as well – so why not do both to the extreme? And they do the zombie part some justice – so if they just worked on the sleaze part it’d be a camp classic in my book.

As it is I give it 2 out of 5 stars.

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