Monday Muzak: Southern Decline

X-Men: First Class [2011]

The story of how the X-Men got started.

I didn’t expect to like this one too much – but the 60’s short dresses – lingerie and plenty of attractive women showing their curves – sold me that this is the GREATEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME!! There were some guys in it and they did stuff too – but did you see all the cleavage? Wow! Lots of hot leg action too! January Jones is already a porn name – but that’s her REAL name – she played the lady who dressed in shiny white leather – boobs! James Fassbender and Michael McAvoy are in this movie somewhere – and I’m sure they did a fine job doing the things they do – but Jennifer Lawrence as the blue naked chick – yes please! I watched it and thought maybe I should watch it again in slow-mo! There’s even some Nazi killing too – which is all fuck yeah – did you see the caboose on that chick! They should make movies with just chick being almost naked – or even a little naked – that would be awesome! I’m going to start a film studio that specializes in that!

The Rite [2011]

A faith questioning priest is sent to learn the ways of exorcism in Rome.

Based on another true story of exorcism... Okay, really? I’m starting to believe that the Catholic Church is really in the movie business. I want to make a dark dark comedy where this is true – and they decide to keep doing this shit with all these fucking exorcism movies that come out “based on true stories”. I mean – I guess we can say “it’s true it’s based on a story” – because all these films are starting to feel like propaganda. I appreciate that the faith questioning priest was thinking mental disorders – but of course Hannibal Lector was there to help encourage him that it’s real. I’m not taking a piss on the religion of it all – just the movies – and since all these exorcisms are done in secret without records of it – there’s no way to officially debunk everything. The movie was okay – nothing great – just enough to make me not turn it off.

Monday Muzak

Monday Muzak: No Distance Left To Run

SKYRIM Friday - live blogging event

7:01 AM: Good morning everyone - I've been up since about 4 - it's been a rough week - when I woke up - I was up - no hope of getting back to sleep with all the brain worms. Since it has been a rough week - I was really debating if I still wanted to do this entry. Hell, despite being excited for SKYRIM for the past couple months - I debated not even playing the game... (real world drama portion erased)... Well, the package from Amazon is Out for Delivery - I'm thinking of doing some cleaning and maybe seeing if I can get an hour worth of napping done. 7:08 AM

7:09 AM: Oh yeah, just finished watching JEWEL OF THE NILE - what a dumb movie - harmless but dumb 7:10 AM

8:20 AM: The bathroom is clean and stinks of pine - and I'm checking around on Amazon for the first fake "reviews" - I like to poke the trolls when there's obviously a really stupid review such as describing the game as "WoW for xbox" (World of Warcraft)... So, let me play dumb for you and show what my comment read...

Wait? I don't get it... It's Wow for the Xbox - but it's bad? Wow is something that I EXCLAIM when I find something amazing... Like "Wow! These are some good McNuggets!"... So, is this like when bad means good? Like "you are so 'bad' at writing reviews"?

I'm really hoping that it is "Wow for the xbox" like your review suggests - because I want to constantly say "wow" - I might even say "wow" to the UPS person who comes by to drop off the game!

At least tell me that they kept Hogwarts in this game - and the kill streaks... I'm really looking forward to multi-playering up some noobs to play some serious gaming.

Aren't I a stinker? 8:23AM

11:46AM: I'm really tired now - been up since 4 - so it's not really a surprise is it? I keep reminding myself to go back and look at my shipping history on Amazon and see if UPS usually drops off the game at certain times and maybe then if it's far enough away take a quick nap... I watched last night's Conan, and both episodes of Beavis & Butthead off the DVR... Had second breakfast - and thinking about lunch now... I bought a shit load of food last night after work ready to spend the day holed up in my apartment eating and snacking - it was a solid call on my part - but probably should've bought more caffeine - other than coffee... Oh well... 11:49AM

11:57AM - Got it!! Might take a nap before I play it though... 11:57AM

12:05PM - Who am I kidding? After 5 minutes in bed - I can't sleep yet - I'll try food - maybe make more coffee - then game or nap... 12:06PM

1:18PM - The controls are going to take some getting used to - I picked a Dark Elf character called him Etain Mitra (that is two Neil Marshall references) - and have just seemed to finish up the first part... Almost let my Hungry Man dinner/lunch get cold playing through it... Fun stuff - nice visuals! 1:19PM

3:42PM - Been playing pretty much non-stop - fun stuff - leveling up on certain paths with ease - cleared a dungeon already (it was the one in the big half hour preview - it had a few more and a few less surprises than the preview) - completed two "achievements" - killed an elk - the leveling up and skill points save until you remember to check so spent my skill points without guidance from guide book which oddly is shipping out to arrive on Monday - been munching on Chex mix - still tired - still a little taken aback from this week - but this game will help lose myself - I'm putting it down for a little while going to watch a movie or tv or something - I will probably keep this live blogging going this weekend because it's a bit of therapy for me... The item/spells/map menu screen is a bit of a bummer - not caring for it at the moment 3:48PM

Centurion [2010]

A Roman legion is ambushed by the Picts (a Scottish tribe) and the few survivors must try to make it back safety before they are hunted and killed.

Neil Marshall’s play on the legend (mostly myth) of the Roman 9th legion in Britain – an unstoppable group who went “missing” while guarding their post. What I really liked about the movie is that you are given two sides – both give the viewer equal justification to root for. The Picts are defending their land against invaders – as well as Etain who has her own brutal reasons for wanting to hunt down the Roman scum. Then you have a somewhat likable group of Roman soldiers headed by Quintus Dias (Michael Fassbender – who plays the title Centurion) – who you realize are pretty much left up to their own – with no cavalry coming to save them simply looking to get back home.

Marshall gives us his traditional theme of having strong women characters who don’t need men to save their asses – and they don’t need to show their asses. His films are violent and gory – and very masculine in that sense – but you throw in the strong female badasses in his films they are very feminist. That duality is one of my favorite things about Marshall’s films – the female characters don’t cower until they are “saved” – they stand up for themselves the entire time.

I think the cast did their part quite well - Fassbender brought a weight an sympathetic side to Quintus which worked very well and Olga Kurylenko was awesome as the silent assassin Etain. – and though the plot was thin – it was good enough for a fun survival-chase “genre” film. It’s a “you get what you pay for” Neil Marshall film – with plenty of gore and in camera effects – instead of the computer generated nonsense.

I wasn’t as enthusiastic about Marshall’s direction of Centurion as a whole – I felt he had a real energy and eye in his previous works – I’m not sure what really happened in this one. He still managed some beautiful shots – and some great compositions – but it felt a bit more vanilla.

Out of the 4 feature films Neil Marshall has done – it has no place to go but 4th on the list due to the strength of his previous work and obvious weaknesses in Centurion. Being a dork I just realized that this is his first film that didn’t start with D – The Descent, Doomsday & Dog Soldiers – and he was attached to Drive for a long while before Winding Refn took over the project (that would have made a VERY different film – but equally as awesome in a different way).

I liked the movie – but I can easily see how others would think it is derivative and just a boring hack and slash film. It is just a lot of bloody fun.