E is for... [part 2]

Esteemed author Albert Radeck is the toast of the Berlin literati and the object of his stepdaughter Eugenie's affections. However, when his doe-eyed little darling unmasks her sophisticated father figure as a sex-crazed psychopath obsessed with perpetrating the perfect crime, she transforms from innocent ward to a willing accomplice. The deadly duo seduce and destroy everyone in their path - until Eugenie's charms spark a jealous rage in Albert that threatens to consume them both.

Prolific filmmaker Jess Franco (MARQUIS DE SADE'S JUSTINE, SADOMANIA) again brings the writings of the Marquis de Sade to bloody life with the aid of the sinister Paul Muller (EUGENIE...THE STORY OF HER JOURNEY INTO PERVERSION), and the beguiling beauty of Soledad Miranda (VAMPYROS LESBOS, SHE KILLED IN ECSTASY) and Alice Arno (JUSTINE DE SADE). This twisted tale of the perverse has been remastered from its recently discovered original negative and is offered completely uncut and uncensored. (synopsis provided by Amazon.com)

directed by Jesus Franco

released 1970

Star Wars

Despite my issues with George Lucas and all – I found it to be a great experience to show the original 3 Star War films to my girlfriend for the first time ever. We watched the original-original trilogy and she quite liked them – they are universal themes and great popcorn entertainment – so there’s not much to dislike.

My new stance is – if Georgie doesn’t want to release the original-original trilogy on Blu-Ray – good for him. I don’t care. My days of being a Star Wars worshiper are over. My wallet will stay closed for all future Star Wars fun. Georgie released a perfunctory print of the original-original on DVD a few years ago to shut up the fans – and that’s as much I will be shat on by him anymore. But a thought did cross my mind...

If he’s so unhappy with how the original three came out that he felt he needed to constantly “fix” them – why doesn’t he just remake them? Someone will one day – they are remaking Lethal Weapon, Mad Max, Suspira, Wizard of Oz, Arthur – right now! Hell, just about any foreign film that has any merit these days gets remade almost immediately! Why not beat everyone to the punch – create your complete vision – it’s your destiny.

Another thing – this whole Admiral Ackbar “It’s a trap!” joke has gone too far – sick of it – get over it – it’s not that funny.

E is for...

David Cronenberg's signature obsessions flower in Eastern Promises, a stunning look at violence, responsibility, and skin. Near Christmastime in London, a baby is born to a teenage junkie--an event that leads a midwife (Naomi Watts) into the world of the Russian mob. Central to this world is an ambitious enforcer (Viggo Mortensen) who's lately buddied up with the reckless son (Vincent Cassel) of a mob boss (Armin Mueller-Stahl, doing his benign-sinister thing). Screenwriter Steve Knight also wrote Dirty Pretty Things, and in some ways this is a companion piece to that film, though utterly different in style. The plot is classical to the point of being familiar, but Cronenberg doesn't allow anything to become sentimental; he and his peerless cinematographer Peter Suschitzky take a cool, controlled approach to this story. Because of that, when the movie erupts in its (relatively brief) violence, it's genuinely shocking. Cronenberg really puts the viewer through it, as though to shame the easy purveyors of pulp violence--nobody will cheer when the blood runs in this film. Still, Eastern Promises has a furtive humor, nicely conveyed in Viggo Mortensen's highly original performance. Covered in tattoos, his body a scroll depicting his personal history of violence, Mortensen conveys a subtle blend of resolve and lost-ness. He's a true, haunting mystery man. (synopsis provided by Amazon.com)

directed by David Cronenberg

released 2007

Monday Muzak: Your Love Is the Place Where I Come From

D is for... [part 2]

Loud, violent, and proudly derivative, the post-apocalyptic action-thriller Doomsday is the latest from UK cult director Neil Marshall, who impressed horror fans with his previous efforts, Dog Soldiers and The Descent. Both pictures established Marshall as a director with a knack for reinventing well-worn genre pictures, but here, he seems more interested in stitching together favorite scenes and elements from established horror and science-fiction films. Escape from New York is the main source for Doomsday, though there are plenty of nods to The Road Warrior and its multitude of Italian-made carbon copies, as well as the zombie/plague subgenre; the lovely but impassive Rhona Mitra is the Snake Plissken-esque loner sent by police (represented by Bob Hoskins) to infiltrate Scotland, which has descended into anarchy following a viral outbreak. The disease has surfaced in London (now a walled city), and Mitra is dispatched to find a scientist who may possess a cure. Marshall's vision of Scotland in ruins brings together the punk/modern primitive costume design of George Miller's Mad Max trilogy with some eclectic homegrown elements (knights on horseback defending a gang leader's castle), and while these touches are novel, the picture as a whole should ring overly familiar to any viewer who's spent time in the exploitation trenches during the past 25 years. Younger and less discerning audience members will undoubtedly enjoy the plentiful violence and gore, as well as the unbridled performances of the supporting cast, especially stuntwoman/actress Lee-Ann Liebenberg as the heavily tattooed Viper. (synopsis provided by Amazon.com)

directed by Neil Marshall

released 2008

D is for...

Considered by many to be Dario Argento's first masterpiece, Deep Red recalls his first hit, The Bird with the Crystal Plumage. British star David Hemmings (Blow-Up) plays an American jazz pianist who witnesses a brutal, bloody murder from afar and turns detective to find the killer. Kooky Italian journalist Daria Nicolodi (Argento's wife and cowriter onSuspiria) joins him as comic relief and tepid romantic interest, but the real costar is Argento's high style: gliding camera, razor-sharp editing, and gorgeous but gruesome set pieces. The story is convoluted, to say the least--plotting was never Argento's strong suit and the unnecessary exposition often drags the film down--but his vivid, horrific imagery is perfect for a thriller driven by haunting memories. Deep Red was originally released in the U.S. in a severely cut version retitled The Hatchet Murders (odd since the killer uses a butcher's knife). Producer Bill Lustig has restored the film to its original two-hour-plus running time, though some scenes exist only with Italian-language soundtracks (which are subtitled). It's a bit jarring at first (it makes for an unintended joke when a man suddenly checks his hearing aid after a language switch), but it's the only way to see Argento's original cut. There's also a brief 25th anniversary documentary with Argento and cowriter Bernardino Zapponi, and the DVD offers a choice of English and Italian language versions. (synopsis provided by Amazon.com)

directed by Dario Argento

released 1975

Monday Muzak: Make Me Smile